Within an hour, Chris sent Eric a revenge invoice, charging him for things like: Sitting at the Same Table as Her: Public apology, Pretending to Be a Gentleman: Introspection, Not Posting This Online: A generous gift he should be grateful for,

Eric blew up my phone with defensive texts, claiming I “missed out on a great guy.” I replied with a single thumbs-up emoji… and blocked him. Lesson learned: if a guy insists on paying the bill, make sure he doesn’t expect a romantic payment plan in return. (And yes — I kept the keychain. It’s now a trophy from the weirdest date of my life.)