According to McCurdy, Debra raised the four children in a cramped, hoarded home where church was her only escape. After Debra’s death in 2013, McCurdy learned that only one of the four children was biologically her mother’s husband’s, and that her own biological father was a musician with whom Debra had a long affair.

Debra homeschooled the children while pushing Jennette into acting, insisting it was “their chance.” McCurdy says this pressure, along with invasive “exams,” strict dieting, and monitored showers, contributed to her early eating disorder. She later sought intensive therapy, which helped her recover.

Though Debra battled cancer for nearly two decades, McCurdy describes her legacy as deeply complicated. “I don’t hate my mom,” she has said. “She was complex — good and bad.”