At a small English parish, an elderly nun told the priest, “Father, your rugs are fraying.” He replied, “You’ve been here long enough to say our rugs.” Later, she corrected herself, “Our hedge needs trimming.” The priest thanked her and mentioned he’d lost his watch.

Days later, the bishop visited. The nun came running down the stairs shouting, “Father! I found your watch!” The bishop asked, “Where did you find it?” She smiled and said, “Under our bed.” A drunk was searching under a streetlight. A man stopped to help him look for his lost Rolex. After 10 minutes, the man asked, “Where exactly did you lose it?”