Wife: honey can you plz help me cleaning the garden.

Husband: do I look like a gardener?

Wife: Ooh sorry honey, OK then fix the bathroom door.

Husband: do I look like a carpenter?…..

Then husband walks out, after coming back from were he went, he found the garden cleaned and the door fixed.

Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself….!

Wife: no its not me.

Husband: who then!

Wife: our neighbor

Husband: you paid him how much?

Wife: No, he just gave me two options, bread or sex….

Husband: I hope u gave him bread Wife: do I look like a bakery!!!!