Wife receives a divorce letter from husband, her reply is brilliant

When you fall in love with someone, you usually believe it’s forever. The reality is that things don’t always turn out as expected and people get separated all the time.

When one husband decided to untie the knot with his wife, he though it would be less painful if he just writes her a letter, explaining why he wanted to leave her. However, he never assumed his decision would backfire on him, as his witty wife’s reply taught him a lesson. This is nothing less than brilliant and hilarious!

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.

I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!

Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.

Related Posts

Gyan Mudra Benefits Revealed: How This Ancient Hand Gesture Boosts Mind and Body

Gyan Mudra, also known as Jnana Mudra, is one of the most important and widely practiced Hasta Mudras (hand gestures). Found in Yogic, Buddhist, and Hindu traditions, it…

I Still Remember That Thanksgiving… and the Truth I Hid in My Backpack

Growing up poor meant Thanksgiving was just another day. In 2010, while at my friend Layla’s house, the smell of real holiday food overwhelmed me. I sneaked…

The Secret My Dad Kept His Entire Life — And Why It Changed Everything

My dad always told us he was a mid-level manager at a parts distributor. Every weekday looked the same—same shirt, same lunchbox, same stories about “back pain…

• The Day After the Funeral, Nothing Was the Same

I didn’t expect anything anyway. But the next day, he called me, yelling in confusion and anger. He had found a letter tucked inside one of the…

A Simple Chat That Connected Two Generations in the Sweetest Way

I took my 92-year-old dad to the mall recently to shop for new shoes. We grabbed a bite at the food court, where he quietly watched a…

The Day Following the Funeral Revealed a Secret I Wasn’t Ready For

I didn’t expect anything anyway. But the next day, he called me, yelling in confusion and anger. He had found a letter tucked inside one of the…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *