On Oct. 28th, 2023 — Matthew Perry, 54, was found unresponsive in his home in the Pacific Palisades, it was reported he sent his assistant out on an errand, and when she returned she discovered Perry face down in his hot tub. Though it is reported, there were no drugs were found on scene and there was no indication of foul play. The actor, known for his role as funny man Chandler Bing on Friends, was vocal in the media about his long battle with addiction.
Sometimes there’s a common misconception that addiction is a choice. That someone who struggles with alcoholism or relapses isn’t “working hard enough” or doesn’t “want it bad enough”. In the case of Matthew Perry, who spent over $9 Million dollars of his Friends’ fortune in-and-out of recovery, trying to be well, these judgements beg the question, “well then what does working hard enough look like”?
It doesn’t look the same for everyone. To steal a phrase from the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) recovery isn’t a line you cross, it’s a journey you take, and it looks different for everyone.
In his memoir Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing (2022), Perry didn’t just pull back the curtain on his high-profile romances and his anticipated behind-the-scenes stories from his time on Friends— he also explored his battle with addiction, or as he calls it in his title, “the big terrible thing”. That is, in a nutshell, addiction. The big terrible thing that lords over the addict’s life like an unforgiving God…it’s hard to imagine someone would choose that pain.
His Father Abandoned Him As A Baby To Become An Actor
In a heartbreaking scene from his childhood, Perry discloses in his memoir his troubled and confusing relationship with his father from jump. Before his cognitive brain had even fully developed, the young Matthew Perry was abandoned by his father, John Bennett Perry, 82, who had dreams of leaving Ottawa, Ontario in favour of Los Angeles, California in pursuit of ironically—becoming a famous actor.
John Bennett Perry would snag a few roles along the way, with his most recognizable role being in the Old Spice commercials throughout the 80’s. Little did he know of course, the son he was leaving behind in the rearview mirror like a distant memory, 2 decades later would be impossible to ignore. Along with his Friends‘ co-stars—who all infamously banded together to be ensured they received equal contracts— Perry would become one of six, of the first-ever TV actors to earn a $1 Million per episode pay cheque. Of course, at 1 year old, the young Matthew Perry didn’t know any of this. He only knew his father left and never came back.
