Never brag about your age … A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the assistant, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32,’ is the reply.’ No! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, ‘I’d say about 29.’‘No, I’m 50.’ the woman replies with a big smile. Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a another shop on her way home. She goes up to the counter to and asks the assistant the same burning question. The assistant responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’ Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’ While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, ‘Madam, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’ She waits in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘Oh b*ger it, go on then” He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of various examinations, she says, ‘Okay, okay…..How old am I?’ He completes one last squeeze of her bre*sts removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’ Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’ He paused, stared into her eyes and said, ‘I was standing behind you at McDonalds’