There was an old priest who grew tired of parishioners constantly confessing to adultery. One Sunday, he warned, “If I hear one more confession about adultery, I’ll quit.” Wanting to keep him, the parish agreed on a code word. Anyone who had committed adultery would simply say they had “fallen.” The priest accepted this, and peace returned—until he died years later.

Soon after, a new priest arrived and paid a visit to the town mayor. Looking troubled, he said, “Something must be done about the sidewalks. People keep coming to confession saying they’ve fallen.” The mayor laughed, realizing no one had explained the code. Before he could clarify, the priest wagged a finger and added, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about—your wife fell three times this week.”

Elsewhere, a minister, a priest, and a rabbi went hiking on a scorching day. They stopped at a secluded lake, stripped off, and jumped in. On their way back, they spotted a group of women approaching. The minister and priest covered themselves, while the rabbi covered his face. Later, when asked why, the rabbi replied, “In my congregation, it’s my face they’d recognize.”

Finally, a refined woman once asked a priest to hide an expensive beauty device under his cassock to avoid customs fees. At inspection, the priest declared he had nothing “from the top of my head to my sash.” Asked what was below, he replied, “A marvelous instrument designed for women, never used.” Laughing, the officer waved him through.