Weddings are meant to celebrate love, but they can also bring unexpected stress—especially when money is involved. A recent Reddit story has sparked intense debate after a New York father questioned whether he was wrong for refusing to pay for his daughter’s extremely expensive dream wedding. The father had long promised to cover his daughter’s wedding costs, believing it was part of supporting her as she began married life.

That promise was tested when he learned her plans involved a lavish destination wedding in New Zealand with a jaw-dropping price tag of $200,000. Shocked by the cost, he admitted the expense felt like “burning money” and worried it would exclude family members who couldn’t afford international travel or didn’t have passports. Torn between wanting to make his daughter happy and feeling the request was excessive, the father turned to Reddit’s “Am I the A*****e” forum for advice.