70-year-old widow posts newspaper advert looking for new husband

Getting back into the dating world can be strange, and intimidating, especially if it’s been a long time since you were last single. Of course, the most important lesson to remember is that it’s crucial you stay open to others and don’t judge anyone too quickly.

It was with that in mind that I decided to share a funny story I recently came across online. It involves a 70-year-old widow, a newspaper advert, and a search for a new husband.

She was at home one day when her doorbell suddenly rang … only, she couldn’t possibly have predicted who would be on the other side.

Read the full hilarious joke below — and make sure you stick with it until the punchline.

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again…

She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Why not help cheer a friend up? Share this joke and help give someone a good laugh!

Related Posts

My Ex’s New Wife Bought My Daughter a $1,000 Prom Dress to Humiliate Me and Win Her Over

Mia never expected her husband Ben’s sudden push to homeschool their daughter Lily to unravel everything. It began at a dinner party, when Ben passionately declared he…

My Ex’s New Wife Bought My Daughter a $1,000 Prom Dress to Humiliate Me and Win Her Over — What My Daughter Did Left Everyone Speechless

Unable to afford Lily’s school, he invented the homeschooling idea and took up delivery work, sometimes bringing Lily along. “I didn’t want to be a failure,” he…

I Witnessed Man Demanding His Wife Pay $800+ for Him and His Friends

Jack barely glanced at the $827 bill before shoving it at his girlfriend, Lora. “Your turn, babe,” he said. But this time, Lora refused—trembling, near tears. And…

I Witnessed Man Demanding His Wife Pay $800+ for Him and His Friends – I Took Cold-Stone Revenge on Her Behalf

Back at the table, I told Jack we had double-booked the table for a VIP party. His friends started leaving, grumbling. Then Lora stood, gasped, and said…

Lawn & Order: A Woman’s Stand for Peace

Tiger Woods, 48, made a heartfelt return to the golf course at the PNC Championship on December 21, 2024, joined by his two children Sam, 17, and…

2) Lawn & Order: A Woman’s Stand for Peace

Tiger shares Sam and Charlie with his ex-wife Elin, whom he married in 2004 and divorced in 2010. Despite their history, the two have stayed committed to…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *